My New Title

Mom.... it sounds so strange, so foreign. My mom is mom, I am Corie and I am a daughter, a sister, a wife (that still sounds funny too), a friend. Now, as of six weeks ago, I am a mom. It is all a little hard to believe, still not something I have grasped. I keep thinking the first time Liam says mama is the magic point where it starts to fit. What exactly does it feel like to be a mother? What should it feel like? Is there transformation at some point? For now, these are questions I just don't have answers for. I love Liam and I know there are few other people in this world whom I would go through the same level of sacrifice for (an organ counts for a lot). I think Ed has said it best... you build a relationship with and love this being who you can't even see. Then they are born and suddenly, there is the physical object to attach these feelings too. It is possibly the one time in our lives where we love something before we see it or meet it, and expect so little back in return. What is it with in us that makes us want to commit to being a parent? I still don't know but I am glad I did and maybe one of these days that new title, identity tag, descriptor, etc will feel right.

Dad and baby

This was right before going home from the hospital yesterday..... The picture I wish I had been able to catch was first thing this morning, little Liam and Dad fast asleep in bed. It was amazing to see that first thing after the longest stretch of sleep to date. Just incredible! This baby thing is pretty fabulous. 

Mom can you hear me? It's Corie

It has now been 41 weeks since I got pregnant and it has been over 3 years since my mom died. As I get all the last minute items packed and try to keep busy not thinking about what lies ahead over the next couple days.... induction starts tonight. My thoughts keep going back to my mom and what was it like for her when she was pregnant with me. So many questions I would like to ask her, the memories of my dad and aunts just don't seem to cut it. I have tried to do a mental check in with her before the last couple big events in my life that she hasn't been here to share... before I graduated from college, a quick hey this ones for you... before my wedding a trip to my mom and grandma's niches, a nice long hard cry so I didn't do it later with mascara running down my face for the wedding pics... and now giving birth. All of these things she would have loved to see, love to be apart of and what a bittersweet experience to be doing this with out her. So mom if you are listening... I love you and know you are watching from wherever you may be hanging out, wish you were here.